Do You Remember Your First Crush?

On January 5, 2010, in State Politics, by Mary Mancini

Right about the time puberty hit, my dad took us kids to a Marx Brothers film festival. I’m sure he didn’t realize it but on that day I developed my first crush. Or, crushes, as it were. Well who wouldn’t fall in love with Groucho, Chico, and Harpo (not Zeppo)? They each had a unique and extraordinary talent (except Zeppo) and they were also all charming and funny and had a undeniable lust for life.

I’m not sure who ex-State Senator Paul Stanley’s first crush was, but I’m pretty sure it was some other girl and not last session’s intern.

But I digress.

My point is this, if you think back to when you hit puberty and who your first crush was, I’m fairly certain that you were powerless to stop it.

So let’s now fast-forward to you – all grown. You meet someone, you crush on them, then you fall in love. Now you want to share the love you both have for each other, and the home you have made, with a child. You’re good people. You and your partner treat each other with respect – there’s no cheating or drunken revelry or racy cell phone pictures of other people – you both have steady jobs and a loving support system of close family and friends. You can’t biologically have your own child, but you know that there many children in Tennessee simply foundering in the foster care system and you want to adopt one of them

But you’re not good enough, say those trying to use the “untold numbers of unwanted children–including those with disabilities and health problems,” in Tennessee as political footballs.

Chris Sanders of the Tennessee Equality Project has more of what’s wrong with this tactic:

Here’s an additional problem. There was no vote on adoption issue. You can’t pin it on anyone other than the Senate sponsor, former Senator Paul Stanley. Neither party moved the bill. The NRCC isn’t asking why the bill didn’t move. The Senate majority leader didn’t seem to push for it, nor did the Senate Judiciary Committee chair. What about the Caucus chair? Nothing. The reasons probably vary from individual to individual. But I suspect the price tag of the bill has something to do with it. It carries a hefty fiscal note. So to try to pin a position on one legislator is to ignore the more important context of the issue. The NRCC’s own party hasn’t chosen to advance the bill.

By the way, did you know that Paul Stanley made a 2009 top ten list?

One more thing, if you’re unmarried and you want to adopt, you should read this by my partner (no, not that kind of partner), Freddie.

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Bet the GLBT Folks Can Keep Their Hands to Themselves

On March 4, 2009, in Liberate Your Radio from The Right, by Mary Mancini

Chris Sanders of Grand Divisions has an excellent post on anger in the GLBT rights movement and what behavior will and will not be tolerated while they continue their struggle against mean-spirited legislation (like the anti-adoption bill Aunt B. schooled us on last week).

That’s the tension. GLBT folks in Tennessee are angry about the demeaning, discriminatory bills we are facing in the Legislature. But if we show anger for even just a moment, we’re suddenly the angry gays. As a minority group in a get-along/go-along culture, we have had to stay in a tight box of appearing gentle, reasonable, polite, perhaps even begging. If we stray out of that box, our words become completely eclipsed. I hazard to say that Jeff Woods at the Nashville Scene has expressed more direct outrage in print than any GLBT person in the state (in print) about these bills.

Makes one wonder how certain people in the state would react if Tennessee Equality Project’s Advancing Equality Day on the Hill had included some in your face chest-poking. What if Sean Penn had called for armed revolution at the Oscars? What if the Huffington Post chose to poll its readers as to what form of such a revolt the revolutionaries would prefer?

What if Harvey Milk had incited his followers instead of calming them down?

(HT: Post Politics)

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Terry Frank’s Research Supports the Kids. Or Does it? We May Never Know.

On February 19, 2009, in Liberate Your Radio from The Right, by Mary Mancini

First, I have to say that Terry Frank is just cute as a button!

Pride - In the Name of Love

Pride - In the Name of Love

She also has very definite opinions against unmarried, sexually cohabiting couples (*wink, wink*) adopting, which she wrote about in the Tennessean on the day of the Tennessee Equality Project’s Advancing Equality Day on the Hill (personal stories from the day can be found here). The particular legislation she is in favor of – and TNEP president Chris Sanders is against – is SB0078, a bill which would would prevent all straight and gay unmarried, cohabiting couples from adopting children. In defense of this type of bill (which, after 31 years, was found to be unconstitutional in Florida), Terry provided a lot of evidence that supposedly proves that married couples can provide a more stable home for an adopted child. When asked in over at Post Politics where she got her information, she commented:

I’ll be happy to provide all of my multiple resources. With a strict 500 word limit, there is certainly no possible way to cite sources AND provide the opinion.

I’ll have them up on my site sometime today or tomorrow, depending on my work schedule.

You can then argue with the multiple studies.

That was two days ago and still no sources. I’m sure Terry is busy so I’ll break down for her what we’re looking for:

  1. Proof that as “cohabitation has become an accepted and rising practice, so too have risen the economic, health, and criminal costs of such arrangements.”
  2. The studies that show “cohabitation, same sex or heterosexual, has higher rates of dissolution than traditional marriage, as great as five times greater.”
  3. The source that shows that occurrences of child abuse, child molestation, Poverty, Domestic violence are higher in cohabiting couples than in traditional marriage.
  4. Proof that the fidelity rates of same-sex relationships are negligible compared to fidelity rates of 75-90 percent in heterosexual couples.
  5. The stats that show that married, heterosexual relationships far exceed the duration of same sex couples, in fact dwarfing the duration of male homosexual relationships.

Oh, and if we’re going to compare apples to apples, we’d like to see all these for couples who have children. We’d also like to see them from studies done during this decade by non-partisan, secular institutions, like a university or the government.

I’m not sure what Terry is going to come up with but regardless, Tennessee has a process in place that is supposed to keep unfit people from adopting. If we really want to think of the welfare of the children, as Terry suggests, then we should pass legislation that would put more resources into the process itself. For instance, we could add more and better caseworkers who, rather than ferreting out “clandestine” sleeping arrangements, could more thoroughly asses the fitness of potential parents and produce a higher quality, and quantity, of follow up visits.

On Wednesday, the Tennessean ran a Op-ed by Leonard Pitts, a columnist for the Miami-Herald, in which he told the heartbreaking taleof a women who was kept from seeing her life partner for 8 hours after she fell ill and was rushed to the hospital. The woman was finally allowed into the room – just in time to see her loved one die. In describing the events, Pitts gives us some details of the life these two women shared. He wrote:

Politicians and alleged religious leaders have routinely invited us to hate gay people and call it morality. They have taught us to frame gay lives in cloudy abstracts of tradition and values. But this isn’t abstract, is it?

No, it is Janice and Lisa, meeting in college and falling in love, 20 years ago. It is a ”holy union” service in a local church, friends serving as maid of honor and ”best man.” ”We were dirt poor,” says Langbehn, “but we pulled it off.”

It is taking in foster kids no one else wants, drug babies, HIV babies, babies with fetal alcohol syndrome. It is adopting four of them and Lisa deciding she wants to be a stay-at-home mom and Janice saying OK, and wondering how the six of them will manage on a social worker’s salary. [emphasis added] It is Janice, diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and Lisa, bashful Lisa, becoming the family extrovert, cheering the kids at ”toddler tumbling time” shepherding them to swimming lessons and story time at the library.

I have an idea (thanks, Leonard Pitts!). Instead of using her time to provide us with suspect stats that support her position, Terry might want to instead use it to help find homes for the “kids no one else wants.” I can help her with that. I know just where to look.

And no, she won’t find that home with me. In what is a personal failing to be sure, I don’t believe I have the strength to take on such an enormous life-changing task. And that’s why I would never randomly disparage someone who could. Or will.

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Stories from TNEP’s Advancing Equality Day on the Hill Starring Black, Stanley, Mumpower, DeBerry, Hawk, and Nicely

On February 17, 2009, in Liberate Your Radio from The Right, by Mary Mancini

Members of the Tennessee Equality Project and their supporters tried to advance equality on the Hill today by meeting with their elected representatives: Senator Diane Black (R-18, Robertson and part of Sumner Counties), Senator Paul Stanley (R-31, Part of Shelby County), Rep. Jason Mumpower (R-3, Johnson and part of Sullivan Counties), Rep. John DeBerry (D-90, Part of Shelby County), Rep. David Hawk (R-5, Unicoi and part of Greene Counties), Rep. Frank Nicely (R-17, Part of Jefferson and Knox Counties), and Rep. Stacey Campfield (R-18, Part of Knox County)

Most of the legislators actively listened. Some tried a little artful dodging. Below is audio from conversations I had with some of the participants.

Rep. John DeBerry and Senator Paul Stanley (Memphis)

Four men from Memphis met with Rep. John DeBerry and Senator Paul Stanley, and received two very different receptions. Two of the four are a committed couple who are currently trying to adopt in Tennessee. They describe the process. Link to the mp3 (2:30)

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Republican House Leader Rep. Jason Mumpower (Bristol)

Joseph Rymer, from Bristol, is the Tri-Cities committee chair of the TNEP. He met with Jason Mumpower who told him he was interested in finding “middle-ground” and “working towards inclusion of all people.” Link to mp3 (2:00)

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Rep. David Hawk (Greeneville)

Mr. Rymer, who had an ambitious agenda of meeting with a total of 9 legislators in one day, also spoke with Rep. Hawk – a man seemingly torn between his personally beliefs and political expediency. He also let me know what it’s like to live as an openly gay man in a very conservative area. Hint: It’s exhausting to live in fear until you make it to one of your safety zones. Link to mp3 (1:40)

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Senator Diane Black (Gallatin)

Part 1 – One of the more dramatic series of events was the cancellation of the Sumner County delegation’s meeting with Senator Diane Black. The day before, Senator Black made a personal phone call to Anne Miller, who had set up the meeting, to explain why meeting would be a waste of time. Link to mp3 (1:25)

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Part 2 – Senator Black then confirmed to another of her constituents, Susan Brown of Springfield, that if she disagrees with you, she sees no value in meeting. Interestingly, however, during their short conversation, Senator Black indicated that she would support the bill to allow gender changes on birth certificates. Link to mp3 (1:07)

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Part 3 – The meeting with Senator Black was set for 2:00 PM, and even though it had been canceled the night before, Anne, Tara, Susan, and Maria Brewer decided to go to her office at the appointed time to see if they could get in to see her. Senator Black – luckily or unluckily depending on your perspective – came out of her office just as the women arrived and, caught by surprise, agreed to give the group five minutes. Maria recaps. Link to mp3 (1:53)

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Rep. Frank Nicely (Knoxville)

Brad Coulter and his family drove from Knoxville to meet with their representative and were stood up. So they decided to wait outside a committee room to see if they could grab a few minutes of Rep. Nicely’s time. For Brad, the TNEP’s Advancing Equality Day on the Hill was very personal – his sister is gay and had to move with her partner and baby son to another state so her partner could become a legal parent to the child. As Brad puts it, it’s a shame that Tennessee had to lose two valuable members of the community because they didn’t feel welcome. Link to mp3 (1:51)

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Brad later called to tell me – excitedly – that he and his family had met with Rep. Nicely and he was receptive and cordial.

Rep. Stacey Campfield (Knoxville)
Rep. Campfield was a no-show for his appointment. Then he rescheduled and missed that meeting too.

The most disturbing part of the day – other than not being able to hear the stories of each of today’s civil rights citizen lobbyists (I heard there were productive meetings with Senator Joe Haynes, Rep. Gary Odom, Rep. Mike Turner, and others) – was Senator Black’s insistence that there was no need to meet with her constituents because she didn’t agree with them. I guess just like George W. Bush in 2004, she has one accountability moment every 6 years.

UPDATE: Chris Sanders, president of the Tennessee Equality Project recaps the day on his blog, Grand Divisions, and Jeff Woods at the Scene weighs in.

UPDATE II: Jeff Woods at the Nashville Scene’s Pith in the Wind does some seriously good editorializing on why Senator Black’s actions were inexcusable: “With a series of audio reports on the Liberadio(!) website, Mary Mancini paints a picture of democracy in action–Tennessee style. Any oily lobbyist with a checkbook can waltz into any legislative office at any time of the day or night and receive a full hearing. But when gays and lesbians and their supporters tried to lobby the legislature yesterday like any other citizens of this great land, their elected representatives often were less than alert and receptive listeners.”

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Liberadio(!) Podcast February 16, 2009: Advancing Equality Day on the Show

On February 16, 2009, in Podcasts, by Mary Mancini

Summary: Guests include Walter Searcy, Executive Committee member of the Nashville branch of the NAACP, and Christopher Sanders, president of the Tennessee Equality Project.

Part 1 – Abe’s #1! George is #36! – It’s Presidents day and as always, there’s a song in our hearts – and on Mary’s lips. Plus, the economic stimulus plan passes both the House and the Senate despite Joe Scarborough, all the other nattering nabobs of negativity, and a whole mess of rigid Republicans. [38.1 MB 23:48 download MP3]

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Independence Day – Martina McBride
Cannonball – The Breeders
Better Already – Northern State

Part 2 – Interview with Walter Searcy, III – Walter is an accomplished attorney, an alumnus of Fisk University and Vanderbilt School of Law, and a member of the Executive Committee of the Nashville Branch of the NAACP. He has had a long history with the local chapter and so he answers some questions – Does the election of President Obama end the need for affirmative action in America? What is the NAACP’s involvement in the civil rights complaint filed in Tennessee recently with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights? – and tells us some stories. [47.8 MB 29:50 download MP3]

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See a Little Light – Bob Mould

Part 3 – Was, Is, and Ever Shall Be a Harpy of the Left A conservative caller has a problem with – wait for it – President Barack Obama’s power grab. [17.5 MB 10:567 download MP3]

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Brimful of Asha – (Norman Cook Mix)

Part 4 – Interview with Christopher Sanders – Tennessee Equality Project president Chris Sanders somehow knows that the way into our hearts is through our stomachs, so we gladly accept his gift of cheese danish. But he didn’t come all the way to the studio just to feed us, he came to tell us about the TNEP’s Advancing Equality Day on the Hill (when he and other members of the GLBT community and their supporters across the state come to Nashville to visit with their elected officials), his secret Big Gay Agenda, and whether or not he’s afraid he’ll catch teh straight from Rep. Campfield. [24.8MB 15:27 download MP3]

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Ooh Child (things Are Going To Get Easier) – Donnie Mcclurkin

Part 5 – Yes, He Was Born in America and No, He Doesn’t Want to Kill Old People – Sooner or later we had to address the birth certificate issue and what better week than when four – count’em 4! – Tennessee state legislators sign onto a yet-to-be-filed lawsuit to force President Barack Obama to release his birth certificate. Then, we further debunk the already-debunked assertion that he will also be telling your when and where to make the incision for your emergency appendectomy. [30MB 18:43 download MP3]

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People Get Ready – Curtis Mayfield & The Impressions
Evolution of All Things – Rilo Kiley

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Liberadio(!) Podcast: October 13, 2006

On October 19, 2008, in Uncategorized, by Mary Mancini

Summary: Guests include Christopher Sanders, Connie Smith, and Elbert Ventura

*Friend of Liberadio(!)

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