I’m not sure who ex-State Senator Paul Stanley’s first crush was, but I’m pretty sure it was some other girl and not last session’s intern.

But I digress.

My point is this, if you think back to when you hit puberty and who your first crush was, I’m fairly certain that you were powerless to stop it.

So let’s now fast-forward to you – all grown. You meet someone, you crush on them, then you fall in love. Now you want to share the love you both have for each other, and the home you have made, with a child. You’re good people. You and your partner treat each other with respect – there’s no cheating or drunken revelry or racy cell phone pictures of other people – you both have steady jobs and a loving support system of close family and friends. You can’t biologically have your own child, but you know that there many children in Tennessee simply foundering in the foster care system and you want to adopt one of them

But you’re not good enough, say those trying to use the “untold numbers of unwanted children–including those with disabilities and health problems,” in Tennessee as political footballs.

Chris Sanders of the Tennessee Equality Project has more of what’s wrong with this tactic:

Here’s an additional problem. There was no vote on adoption issue. You can’t pin it on anyone other than the Senate sponsor, former Senator Paul Stanley. Neither party moved the bill. The NRCC isn’t asking why the bill didn’t move. The Senate majority leader didn’t seem to push for it, nor did the Senate Judiciary Committee chair. What about the Caucus chair? Nothing. The reasons probably vary from individual to individual. But I suspect the price tag of the bill has something to do with it. It carries a hefty fiscal note. So to try to pin a position on one legislator is to ignore the more important context of the issue. The NRCC’s own party hasn’t chosen to advance the bill.

By the way, did you know that Paul Stanley made a 2009 top ten list?

One more thing, if you’re unmarried and you want to adopt, you should read this by my partner (no, not that kind of partner), Freddie.

Pride - In the Name of Love

She also has very definite opinions against unmarried, sexually cohabiting couples (*wink, wink*) adopting, which she wrote about in the Tennessean on the day of the Tennessee Equality Project’s Advancing Equality Day on the Hill (personal stories from the day can be found here). The particular legislation she is in favor of – and TNEP president Chris Sanders is against – is SB0078, a bill which would would prevent all straight and gay unmarried, cohabiting couples from adopting children. In defense of this type of bill (which, after 31 years, was found to be unconstitutional in Florida), Terry provided a lot of evidence that supposedly proves that married couples can provide a more stable home for an adopted child. When asked in over at Post Politics where she got her information, she commented:

I’ll be happy to provide all of my multiple resources. With a strict 500 word limit, there is certainly no possible way to cite sources AND provide the opinion.

I’ll have them up on my site sometime today or tomorrow, depending on my work schedule.

You can then argue with the multiple studies.

That was two days ago and still no sources. I’m sure Terry is busy so I’ll break down for her what we’re looking for:

1. Proof that as “cohabitation has become an accepted and rising practice, so too have risen the economic, health, and criminal costs of such arrangements.”
2. The studies that show “cohabitation, same sex or heterosexual, has higher rates of dissolution than traditional marriage, as great as five times greater.”
3. The source that shows that occurrences of child abuse, child molestation, Poverty, Domestic violence are higher in cohabiting couples than in traditional marriage.
4. Proof that the fidelity rates of same-sex relationships are negligible compared to fidelity rates of 75-90 percent in heterosexual couples.
5. The stats that show that married, heterosexual relationships far exceed the duration of same sex couples, in fact dwarfing the duration of male homosexual relationships.

Oh, and if we’re going to compare apples to apples, we’d like to see all these for couples who have children. We’d also like to see them from studies done during this decade by non-partisan, secular institutions, like a university or the government.

I’m not sure what Terry is going to come up with but regardless, Tennessee has a process in place that is supposed to keep unfit people from adopting. If we really want to think of the welfare of the children, as Terry suggests, then we should pass legislation that would put more resources into the process itself. For instance, we could add more and better caseworkers who, rather than ferreting out “clandestine” sleeping arrangements, could more thoroughly asses the fitness of potential parents and produce a higher quality, and quantity, of follow up visits.

On Wednesday, the Tennessean ran a Op-ed by Leonard Pitts, a columnist for the Miami-Herald, in which he told the heartbreaking taleof a women who was kept from seeing her life partner for 8 hours after she fell ill and was rushed to the hospital. The woman was finally allowed into the room – just in time to see her loved one die. In describing the events, Pitts gives us some details of the life these two women shared. He wrote:

Politicians and alleged religious leaders have routinely invited us to hate gay people and call it morality. They have taught us to frame gay lives in cloudy abstracts of tradition and values. But this isn’t abstract, is it?

No, it is Janice and Lisa, meeting in college and falling in love, 20 years ago. It is a ”holy union” service in a local church, friends serving as maid of honor and ”best man.” ”We were dirt poor,” says Langbehn, “but we pulled it off.”

It is taking in foster kids no one else wants, drug babies, HIV babies, babies with fetal alcohol syndrome. It is adopting four of them and Lisa deciding she wants to be a stay-at-home mom and Janice saying OK, and wondering how the six of them will manage on a social worker’s salary. [emphasis added] It is Janice, diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and Lisa, bashful Lisa, becoming the family extrovert, cheering the kids at ”toddler tumbling time” shepherding them to swimming lessons and story time at the library.

I have an idea (thanks, Leonard Pitts!). Instead of using her time to provide us with suspect stats that support her position, Terry might want to instead use it to help find homes for the “kids no one else wants.” I can help her with that. I know just where to look.

And no, she won’t find that home with me. In what is a personal failing to be sure, I don’t believe I have the strength to take on such an enormous life-changing task. And that’s why I would never randomly disparage someone who could. Or will.

Part 1 – It’s all Fun and Games on Valentine’s Day Until Somebody Loses an Eye – This week’s Liberadio(!) “To Do” list – Stand For Schools Rally, The NAACP Centennial, Tennessee Equality Day on the Hill, and Charles Darwin’s Birthday – is supplemented by the Liberadio(!) “I Do” list. Don’t miss your chance to get hitched by John Arriola and the romantic County Clerk staff! Plus, one state Representative was for free and fair elections before he was against them, and a caller, who apparently just woke up out of an 8-year coma, accuses “liberals” of ignoring history. [36.9 MB 23:00 download MP3]Download audio file (liberadio20090209part1.mp3)

Let’s Get it On – Marvin Gay
Love to Love You Baby – Donna Summer
Fever – Peggy Lee

Part 2 – Interview with Chip Forrester – Chip. The Chipster. Chipinator. He’s the newly minted chair of the Tennessee Democratic Party and he’s answering our questions about fundraising, reaching out to the old bulls, encouraging the grass roots, the 95-county strategy, welcoming new ideas, staffing decisions, the income tax, feeding the trolls, expanding the base, technology, and “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but…”. [37.3 MB 23:15 download MP3]Download audio file (liberadio20090209part2chipforrester.mp3)

Je T’Aime Moi Non Plus – Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin

Part 3 – Affairs of the State and Affairs of the Heart. And never the ‘twain shall meet – unless Senator Stanley’s adoption bill passes (SB0078), in which case he goes to heaven while Tennessee’s parentless children languish. Plus, more comments on blog commentors and the world famous Dave Cloud is back to assure us that he’s not the Marquis de Sade. [44.8 MB 27:57 download MP3]Download audio file (liberadio20090209part3.mp3)

Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Baby – Barry White

Part 4 – Bumpers Ugly – Councilman Eric Crafton has some explaining to do – have all his fundraising sources been disclosed? – and some realizations to come to – dude, you have a constituency, you know. Plus, should public policy be guided by religious faith and what the hell is a small d democrant? [46.7MB 29:07 download MP3]Download audio file (liberadio20090209part4.mp3)

Theone – Lambchop (Album: How I Quite Smoking)